.... Jesslyn ♥

     Haiz.... If I known earlier, I will surely apply for the ASEAN Scholarship when I was standard 6... If I did applied and got in, maybe I will suffer and all, but at least I get to learn stuff right..

     Now, I don’t know a lot of things, I don’t pay 100% attention in class, I became so lazy, and most of all, I don’t know what I learnt.. Why? Well... the teachers aren’t fierce enough.. I mean.. they wont scold you and punish in a really fierce or bad way.. they just demerit and all.. I miss my primary school form teacher.. he is really a very good teacher.. he can be fierce, funny, serious, fun, .., and his jokes makes my whole class laugh like crazy for 10 minutes.. we like to see him smile or laugh.. that’s when we laugh like crazy too.. because ... its really cute when he smile.. actually funny.. not cute as in cute.. I use the word cute no matter how what is it.. so.. yea.. I don’t know how to describe it though.. but I just got to tell you that he is my whole class’s best teacher ever..

     My BM is very terrible.. and subjects like Moral, Sejarah... you’ll first need to understand it.. and how am I going to understand without knowing what it means? I mean.. you know.. my BM is terrible... Tuition? Well... if you don’t know, I’ll let you know now.. I never went to tuition before.... and so if you want me to go for tuition, I .. don’t know what to say.. I will want my friends to go with me.. or not I will be so alone there.. and you know that I am shy to make friends.. and.. I don’t like going tuitions.. but I know I will be going to one next time.. or I’ll really be dead during PMR..

     What if I applied and got in for the ASEAN Scholarship? Well.. I will have to try a new life then.. there, my cousins, aunties, uncles and all will be there.. if I choose to stay in hostel, I don’t know.. but I will be living with friends.. a really school life.. and if I live in my grandmother’s house, I also don’t know.. maybe I will be like now? Just a little different? Because I always stay there during times when we visit them..

     About studies.. I don’t really know how will it be.. but I heard from my friend who went in.. he said it is really a stressful life.. a lot of homeworks.. but there wont be any tests or exams.. but isn’t it good? No.. why? Because the homework that you do is test itself.. wow.. it must be really hard then.. but if its me, maybe I will slowly get used to it.. I will be really learning stuff.. not like now.. and no matter how tired or stressed, I will at least be studying and all.. I don’t even study now.. and that’s really very bad..

     One thing good there is, the Chinese and history will be easier.. Chinese will be as easy as standard 6 level.. and history.. you know.. Singapore history isn’t a big bunch like Malaysia.. and I think it is in English.. so it will be lesser and easier.. so.. you know I am interested in arts.. yea.. so I will be going for arts next time.. whatever it is, I just got to say that education in Singapore is really good... there’s too much for me to say how good is it..

     Life there will be totally different.. let me tell you what will it be like... it is said that you will you will get monthly budget.. ofcourse.. this will include the cost of accommodation, utilities, food, and clothing, transport and telecomunations, books and staionary, as well as medical and hospitalization insurance. It will be kinda cool too.. like during holidays, you can go back to Malaysia.. the cool thing is that you are like.. free.. going back all alone.. maybe with friends.. life will be like.. really cool for me.. can’t imagine it.. everything in Singapore is really cool.. and it’s a lot more safer.. and the air is also more fresh.. no vehicle will come out with black smokes.. unless it isn’t a vehicle from Singapore.. then maybe yea.. you can take bus anytime.. its really easy.. and will be cheaper if you have a student card.. uh.. a lot more.. just cant finish saying..

     How about trying to apply when I am form 3? Well.. thought of that.. was so happy about it.. but.. when I remembered that if I want to get in, I must have good results for now.. form 1, 2, 3.. and most of all, PMR.. but how am I going to do that.. my first result itself is already not good.. and the mid year exam.. its like next week? And I don’t know anything.. but I know I still have time to change.. you know.. I am those that once you got used to something, you’ll just continue to be it.. and so.. I think I got into a class which made me now like this.. I thought being in second best class will be like.. really serious.. hardworking.. the clever ones will teach others… but its like.. my class is the worse class as in the way we are.. I don’t know how to say about it.. so.. I don’t really know about what shall I do.. it will take a really hard and long time to change.. but I really wish to.. As soon as possible..

     Now that I regretted, I really wish to change.. I want to try applying when I am form 3.. but It will be hard and long for me to change, get into the level now.. I need to go tuitions.. and I don’t know who will make me change.. well.. I know that even if my interests is in arts, I will first have to get better results and studies in order to have a success easily in the future, because I already have a really bright ambition.. I don’t know what is it called.. takes another long time to explain.. because it is like a lot together.. I don’t know how to say.. well.. I hope that you will pray for me... please pray for me...